“The Foundation” is my workshop’s first component. Throughout the years, I have seen a variety of circumstances and situations. The details vary, but I noticed conflict patterns, emotions, behavior and attempts to fix problems.
People don’t like conflict, whether it is with themselves, their stuff, their homes, structures, other people or workspaces.
Some people are impatient and want a finished overall appearance first. They don’t want to talk about anything and just want to go out, buy storage totes and fill them. Organizing efforts fail, as organizing anything, whether it be another person, places (meeting place or an event of some sort), spaces (work, studios, barns, houses) and stuff, fails unless the roots of the situation and the pieces of the conflict are addressed first.
This workshop starts with a discussion of conflict, which for this workshop, is a home that is full of stuff and is no longer a workable option for a person or a group of people.
Scenarios that create the need for the home clearing vary. Someone can’t live in a home without in-home care or they must move out and sell it.
Someone passed away, and the home will either be transfer to a specified person or will be sold.
Or, someone passed away, and the surviving spouse wants to live in the home but now needs to clear out some items. Family members are concerned about this change.
Sometimes people downsize without thinking the process through and get stuck when their new, smaller space is full of boxes.
Or, after divorce, a spouse will live in the home but needs to let go of some of the remaining items and needs to create a new sense of home.
In the event that someone is facing a serious illness, she needs the home to be a healing sanctuary free of clutter and crowded areas.
The first few questions of this component elicit background information. What happened? Who is involved? The Initiating Event is usually traumatic to everyone involved. Sometimes those involved don’t speak. Either they are too young to speak, are elderly or are functionally unable. Some of these “people” are companion animals. It is important to remember that an inability to speak does not mean that he or she is not affected by what’s happening.
Do some of the people involved have problematic relationships? What are the conflict styles of everyone involved?
What is the legal status of the house right now? Who actually owns it? Who lives in the house (both permanently and occasionally)?
Is the house well-maintained? Does the house have stuff inside? Whose stuff is it? Is there conflict over this stuff? What is the legal status of all the stuff inside and outside the house?
Who wants to clear out the house? Who doesn’t want the house cleared out? Who’s got the legal rights to clear out the house?
I wrote this workshop broadly, so the material could breathe and expand to fit anyone’s situation. Participants in the first year didn’t need all of the material. Participants in the second year of the workshop needed all the material and also needed me to address other topics too.
As I grow and expand my services, I attract more clients with complicated situations. It’s gratifying to help them. Most of them feel alone and have nowhere to turn. They’ve read books and used services that partially helped. It’s my intention to blog and finish my partially-written books so that people have resources when they need them.
For information on the next two components of Changing Places, please read the next two blog entries.
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