If you say “yes” to something, then you say “no” to something else.
How do you decide to do something – say yes to it?
Do you consider your values and how the activity fits with them? The activity’s aspects (research/prep, meetings, commuting, actions/tasks, interpersonal relations, organization/structure, mental/emotional “time,” etc.) and what they’ll cost you?
What if you first analyze what you give up when you say yes?
When you evaluate opportunities in the frame of no, you consider your values, beliefs, commitments, etc.- what’s important to you , the non-negotiables that makes your life make sense and what makes you happy, content, glad to be alive,
This skill applies to all parts of your life, including being a smart consumer. Instead of being pulled into the “buy now” cycle, you pause and ask “what’s essential?”
I spend a lot of time with people sorting through possessions and choices. They are looking for vitality and the ingredients that’ll facilitate the changes they’ve committed to. The work is difficult. When people have their items boxed for donation, family and selling, many of them ask similar questions. “How much money did I spend on all this stuff?” “How did this happen?” “Now what?”
What if you buy only after you’re sure of what you want, both in terms of items’ features and usability? Would your buying behavior change if you define what’s acceptable and what’s not in terms of the buying process?
If you know why you’re buying something, the features you need, how you’ll use it and how much money you’re willing to spend, the sales cycle should be simple, right?
If the cycle is confusing or manipulative, you can re-route the cycle or choose another way to buy.
If you’ve been saying yes to people, activities and commitments most of your life, saying no may feel unfamiliar. Uncomfortable.
Practice makes perfect.
When you focus on what’s important, the quality of your life shifts. That shift creates opportunities that lead to a simpler life that’s more meaningful and cohesive, even in difficult times.